Celebrating Bad Reviews
This newsletter might deserve zero stars.
TL;DR
Here’s how you go from hating bad reviews to celebrating them:
Remember that bad reviews/ratings are feedback.
Remember that if everyone likes you, then you’re probably doing something wrong.
Remember that you can’t fly without ruffling some feathers.
Remember that not all reviews are made equally.
I experienced a major breakthrough in my writing on Monday:
My book Start With Story received its first 1-star rating.
So naturally, I wrote a LinkedIn post about how excited this made me and how only 8.3% of that statement is snark. The other 91.7% is totally honest.
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of working on a book with the founder of a marketing firm. While he was writing to a specific industry niche, the principles he taught were universal. And it totally reframed how I view bad reviews and ratings.
Starting with:
Bad Reviews/Ratings are Feedback.
Whenever I send the first draft of the first chapter to an author, here’s my one instruction for their notes:
“I need to know what’s not working. My ego doesn’t need to be stroked.”
There’s so much freedom in giving them the permission to point out the problems. Both for them and for me.
“This is great” rarely helps me become a better writer. “This doesn’t work” ALWAYS helps me become a better writer.
Sure, 1-star reviews suck. But when you can see them as feedback, you can run them through a few filters:
What can I do better next time?
What is the underlying problem that caused the bad experience?
How can I turn this into a positive?
If a low rating helps you improve, then it’s not truly bad. As Coach Beard told Ted Lasso, “I don’t think it’s a bad thing or a good thing. I think it’s just a thing.”
Which brings us to . . .
If Everybody Likes You, Then You’re Probably Doing Something Wrong
One of my first clients/my wife has an expression:
“You can’t be everybody’s Chick-fil-A sauce.”
Translation: You can’t make everyone happy, so don’t try to.
First, it’s an impossible task. Some people just want to live life like Ebenezer Scrooge pre-ghost encounters. The misery they dish out is their own poison.
Second, if you’re trying to be liked by everyone, then your message will go nowhere.
That 1-star rating tells me something really important about my book:
It’s reaching new people. People I don’t know. People who don’t give a damn about my feelings.
And that’s a really, really good thing.
You Can’t Fly Without Ruffling Feathers
Great writing is packed with emotion. (Which is why AI can’t truly be a great writer, but that’s a post for another day.)
But with emotion, you’re going to ruffle feathers. When you make strong statements, you’ll incite agreement in some, thoughtfulness in others, and some disagreement.
Guess who’s most likely to speak up?
But you’ve got to ruffle some feathers if you ever want to stand out and fly. This is something I wish I’d learned when I was in my 30s. I was pretty good at it in my teens and early 20s, then somewhere along the way I became a bit too tame.
Your message can be strong without being a bully. You can make a stand without putting others down. You can share your story without canceling out someone else’s.
Remember That Not All Reviews Are Made Equally
A couple weeks ago, I used my newsletter to celebrate the launch of my friend Sarah’s book The Bright Years. I finished it last night and immediately went to leave a 5-star review because it actually deserves it. (If it didn’t, I just would keep my opinion to myself.)
On her behalf, I was incensed by some of the negative reviews that had been left:
“Not worth the hype.”
“You’re not worth the hype!” I wanted to yell. “And what hype?! She’s a debut author!”
And then I was befuddled by reviews that were overwhelmingly positive, praising her prose and storytelling, but only gave her 3 stars. Like, what?
So here’s the deal:
When you get that negative rating or review, remember that sometimes people are just speaking out of their own issues and perceptions. Sometimes it has nothing to do with your book or content at all.
But also, friends, let’s recognize that reviews are meant to help others. The one thing I’m upset about with the 1-star rating is that they didn’t have the gumption to leave a review for me to learn from—or to be helpful to others. For instance, they could have written, “This was a waste of money for me. I thought it was going to be a step-by-step guide on writing a book.”
Now, that would be helpful because my book is certain NOT a step-by-step guide. (Nor does it claim to be.) But at least that would alert other book shoppers who might make the same mistake to stay away.
So here’s a reviewing guide that I created:
Okay, it’s a little bit of a joke, but still mostly accurate. Authors aren’t asking you to compare their book to War and Peace (or whatever). If you enjoyed a book and would recommend it to others, that’s 5 stars. If you enjoyed it but would qualify it before recommending, that’s 4 stars.
1-star reviews/ratings should be reserved for books that espouse problematic ideas, like unethical practices or hate.
P.S. All that said, if you’ve read my book, I certainly don’t mind you taking 1 minute to go offset the impact of that 1-star rating.
Content Questions
Now for this week’s content idea questions:
When was the last time you received difficult feedback? What did it teach you?
What are some filters you use to decide if you should act on a negative review or not?
How do you handle a bad experience? Do you leave “negative” reviews or just quietly take your business elsewhere? Or something else?
What is the harshest criticism you ever received that helped you grow?
Not a question but go give a professional you know a positive review—and then post about it.
Paid subscribers, your bonus content questions are below. Until next time, keep changing the world—one story at a time.
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